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Learn more about our resident mental health expert and author of Mental Health Mondays, Jade Savage.

Hi Moms!

2024 is here! What is your favorite part about starting a new year? What is your least favorite part? For myself, it feels like a fresh start and a time where I can re-assess parts of my life that I don’t necessarily love and that may or may not be working for me. A part that I don’t like, is the pressure to post about your life and the things you did. The pressure that you MUST be hopeful with this new year, instead of feeling however you need to feel. The part that can be discouraging if you don’t accomplish one of your daily or weekly goals. Moms, whatever your answers may be, honor them! Don’t wish that they were different or to be like someone else. Find what works and what fits for you and appreciate yourself for it! This gets me to what I want to talk about today.

What Is In and What Is Out for Your Mental Health

On social media, there is a trend going around describing what is in (things you want to do, say, feel, and so forth) and what is out (things you don’t want to do, say, feel, and so forth) in 2024. I like this version of assessing yourself in the new year because it takes a lot of the pressure away when we think about it like this. Although on social media, people are describing things about all parts of their life. For our case, I want to focus on what is In and what is Out in 2024 regarding taking care of your mental health.

Ins

1. Being kind to yourself. I talk about being kind to yourself a lot. Almost every blog post you will find it somewhere within. It is not some miraculous revelation that what we speak to ourselves becomes how we feel and act both towards ourselves and others. If I spend my day telling myself that I am too chubby, do you think that is going to make me feel good and motivate me to move my body? Honestly, probably not. I’m not going to feel motivated, I am going to feel bad and lazy and maybe worthless, and I am going to sit on my couch and sulk. If I tell myself I am strong, physical appearance doesn’t mean everything, I am motivated, I am healthy – that is going to encourage and motivate me to move my body because I want to continue feeling good. Separately, allow yourself to make mistakes. You are human. Everyone, no matter what they say or show, makes mistakes. Do not be hard on yourself for making a mistake. Take it as a lesson and move on. Do not dwell on the negative but focus on the positive and move forward. Be kind to yourself today, tomorrow, and every day forward. You are an amazing person, start believing it!
2. Taking time for self-reflection/self-assessment. We will flow through life and a whole year will go by before we realize how we are feeling and what is going on within ourselves and our environment. Take time to self-reflect on the good and the bad days. Seek to understand why the good days were so good, and why the bad days were so bad. Were there things that you had control over that went differently than you hoped? Were there things that were simply out of your control that you had to face? How did you handle it when you couldn’t have that control? Seek to understand what your thoughts are, what your feelings are, hidden messages based on those feelings in situations and events, are your behaviors aligning with you and your values, etc. No one is going to do this for you, and no one is going to tell you do this (besides me :)). The choice is yours to be actively conscious about yourself. The time is now!
3. Self-Care. Being a burnt-out individual does not earn you a plaque of honor. You might have hustled for your family, but without taking the time for yourself to recharge, the positive does not outweigh you feeling burnt-out. Take care of yourself! Do things for you that will fill you up. No one is going to give you self-care time, you must do it for yourself. You must find that time to sit with yourself and honor yourself for all that you do. You deserve it all.
4. Movement/Outside. I combined these two because they are both very important, and sometimes can be done together. Movement, as we talked about a few weeks ago, is so so important. It not only is good for your physical body, but it is good for your mental health. It releases chemicals in your body that literally makes you feel good. Who doesn’t want to feel good? Notice how I didn’t say you need to workout? I don’t care how you move your body, as long as you are moving it. If you are having a hard time finding motivation, think to yourself about how strong your body is. Does your one and only body deserve to feel its best? Absolutely. Can you honor your body for taking you through every single day? Yes! Movement is a way to do that. Positive self-talk here will help a lot. Getting outside, just as important. Sometimes we are in the house all day long and we feel cramped, stuffy, stir crazy and more. Go sit outside to read, play with your kids, journal, go for a walk, yoga, meditate, bike and so many more options. We have this beautiful earth to explore and cherish. Spending time outdoors is going to help your mental health and having balance.

Outs

1. Comparing yourself to others. We will not be comparing ourselves to others in 2024. What good does it do? You might look to others that influence or motivate you and understand the differences and make changes to your own life to be more of the type of person you want. There is nothing wrong with that at all. It becomes wrong and hard and negative when we see someone and instantly think, that person is doing it better than I am. That person is way happier than me because she has more money. That person is way happier than me because she is super fit. This person is better than me because she owns her own business. That person is wealthier than me because of all the trips they go on. Do any of you ever fall to this? Sometimes we do this without even realizing. This year, we are going to be mindful about what we are thinking in comparing ourselves to others. Every one of us is doing our best, and that is all we can ask for. Someone is not happier because they have a 6 pack of abs. Someone is not richer because they travel often. We must find the truth in these aspects and considerations because that is going to help us be more realistic and kinder to ourselves.
2. Judging others. This can go with comparing yourself as well as being kind to yourself. Why do you think that as humans we judge other people? What is the meaning behind this? Could it be that we judge because we have insecurities within ourselves? Not a fun thing to think about or realize, but we must if we want to feel better. Judging other people should not give us joy. Should not make us feel better. The same way I want you to be kind to yourself, I want you to be kind to others. These will piggyback off of each other. Because you are speaking kindly about someone else, you will be more inclined to speak kindly to yourself. Kindness always.
3. Starve ourselves/unhealthy eating habits. Food is your friend. Food is energy. Food is our lifeline! I am not saying to go ahead and eat 10 donuts for breakfast every day, and I am also not saying only eat a handful of carrots for lunch every day. If you are hungry, please eat. I know that there are things out there like fasting, only drinking black coffee in the morning and other health fads. If that works for you and you are healthy and getting your nutrients and food in, I am not going to tell you to stop. Find what works for you and go with it! However, if you are grumpy, have a headache, irritable, tired because you haven’t eaten or are still hungry, please eat. Food is good! Balance is needed in everything we do. Find your balance and what works for you. For example, I eat relatively healthy meals, but I also eat two chocolate chip cookies every night for dessert because that balance works for me and oh man it makes me so happy to enjoy those cookies! Be mindful about what your body needs, and maybe about what it does not need as well and find what works for you.
4. Saying yes to everything/afraid to say no. We have had the message push down on us that being busy = success and happiness. Do you think this is true? You are by no means required to say yes to things you are invited to and things that are asked of you. Again, find your balance of saying yes to the things that will benefit you and that makes you happy, and say no when you need to. Say no to a friend’s outing when all you want to do is go on a date with your husband/partner instead. Say no when work is having another outing that puts stress and pressure on you. Say no when you simply don’t have the energy to go do whatever the thing is. There is no shame in saying no and knowing your limits and needs. Honor them, hone in on them. Your life will be more balanced and feel less stressed and chaotic when you decide what is a yes and what is a no.

These are the Ins and Outs that I wish for you. You have the right and the ability to decide what you are keeping In in 2024 and what you are keeping Out in 2024. It’s all up to you! How you want to live, how you want to feel, how you want to organize your day and your week, how you want to eat, how you want to move… it is all your decision. Your choice. I am not saying this to feel overwhelming, but no one is in charge of you besides yourself. No one is going to speak kindly to you if you don’t start speaking kindly to yourself. No one is going to make you go for a walk, you are going to make you go for a walk. You are so powerful! You deserve to feel happy and healthy!

I enjoyed chatting with you today! If you are going through something difficult right now, know that you are not alone. If you are needing someone to talk to, reach out to a local therapist and get scheduled. Although a new year is a great time to be positive and make those changes, it does not mean that hard times are not hard time, and serious issues shouldn’t be considered. Take care of yourself! I will see you next time!

Reminder: this is not a form of therapy/counseling. If you are experiencing negative mental health symptoms, I encourage you to reach out to a local mental health professional so that you are able to get direct help.