Learn more about our resident mental health expert and author of Mental Health Mondays, Jade Savage.

Hi Moms!

It is officially a new year! I know for myself, 2023 absolutely flew by. A year feels so long, but at the same feels so short. Does anyone else understand this feeling? At the beginning of the new year you have goals and ideas and plans, and then its December, and you’re left thinking….”wait a second…” I hear you. I want to talk about this today. Although having goals and plans for the upcoming year is not necessarily bad, but social media and other sources tells us we MUST have these.

News Year’s Resolutions and Unattainable Goals

News Year’s resolutions. Ever heard of it? Of course you have. The pressure to have new goals, set new routines, and do different things within that first month of the year is, honestly, insane. Again, if this is something you want to do, go for it and smash those goals! However, if you do not have any really big New Year’s resolutions, please do not fret. Please be so kind to yourself during this time. On Instagram and Tik-Tok, we are going to see all these influencers doing new things, sticking to early morning routines, pushing themselves hard in the gym and so forth. Just because all that works for them, does not mean that you need to be doing it too. If you want to, great. If you don’t want to, great.

Goals are good because it helps us to continue to grow and push ourselves. These can continue to change and grow with you throughout your year and life. Just be cautious about the pressure that we are putting around those goals. If these new goals and routines are causing you to be stressful, anxious, or unhappy, then there is no pressure to continue to strive for them if they do not serve you anymore. Along with pressure, be conscious of the goals you are setting. Are they realistic? What are the expectations? If you are expecting one goal to change your life, and making that one change, I am sorry but that is not realistic. Goals are good, but they must be achievable and realistic. If they aren’t those things, then we end up feeling discouraged and stop striving for our goals. We want to continue to grow and challenge ourselves, that we must do in life. We aren’t meant to stay the same forever. But when we are working for those changes, the steps and goals should be attainable. Small steps, small changes will lead to big steps and big overall changes. Start small, and you can always grow and expand from there!

Here is an example that references previous topics. When we are thinking about our thoughts and how they lead to our feelings and behaviors, we can’t just be like, “Oh okay, I need to start thinking more positive. Done!” Not realistic. If your goal is to stop thinking negatively from now on, how do you think that will go? Now, that goal is not necessarily bad. But are you going to be able to flip a switch overnight and always think positively from now on? Probably not. Give yourself smaller steps. For example, for the first two hours this morning, I am going to be mindful of my thoughts. I am going to take my journal with me, so that when I catch myself thinking negatively, I will write them down and write positive ones down. I set a small, realistic goal that will aid in me changing my thoughts. This will lead to more change over time.

On social media, I know, from past years, that the image of doing big changes within a new year will be all over the place. Having New Year’s resolutions are not good and are not bad. If you want to have them to work on different things, I encourage you to set realistic goals and expectations, and work hard towards those things! If you are thinking about the year, and there is maybe one thing about your life that you want to work on, that is great. If you are comfortable about the way things are right now, that is great. Whatever you do, do it for yourself and because you want to. Not because anyone else is telling you that you need to. The improvements and changes we do within ourselves and for ourselves, are also for our families and children.

Please be kind to yourself. Always, and especially now. I hope this new year brings you happiness, healthy change, abundance, gratitude, and so much more. I hope for your littles to love and feel loved, to understand themselves, to be kind to themselves, to be joyful, resilient, happy, sincere, and so much more. 2024 is going to be a great year! I’m excited to continue throughout this next year writing to you mamas and making myself a better counselor and person. You are all doing a great job. I am so proud of you! See you next time!

P.S. I just wanted to note that we have added two more groups on The Moms Society website for maternal mental health and children’s mental health. Feel free to check those out and use them to ask questions and chat with others about these different things!

Reminder: this is not a form of therapy/counseling. If you are experiencing negative mental health symptoms, I encourage you to reach out to a local mental health professional so that you are able to get direct help.