Learn more about our resident mental health expert and author of Mental Health Mondays, Jade Savage.

Hi Moms!

Happy February! The Monday month of the year is finally over. You did it! We’ve talked a lot about important topics already this year, setting ourselves up for success this year and always moving forward. Not only with our own lives, but with our children’s lives as well. It is such an important reminder that even when we talk about you mommas and adult lives, that almost always we can relate the information to our children as well. For example, when we discussed alone adult time, we can also see where maybe our 9-year-old needs alone time as well. I challenge you when you read the posts that aren’t geared toward the kids, that there is information that can still be used regarding the kids.

What To Do When Our Feelings Are Too Much

I have touched on grounding before in a previous post about postpartum mental issues (postpartum anxiety and/or postpartum depression). Grounding is when we pay attention and bring awareness to where we are in the moment. Often when we have big emotions and feelings such as depression or anxiety (not dedicated just to perinatal/postnatal mommas – literally everyone) we get taken out of the moment. We might get taken into the swirling thoughts of past decisions and experiences along with regrets and so forth. We might get taken into the future and worry about how we are unsure about something or how we will handle something. We get taken out of this present moment. When this happens our thoughts and feelings get so overwhelming that sometimes we even see people having panic attacks.

Trying to get yourself back into the moment is going to be essential. When we are in the future, it might feel so overwhelming that the world might feel wrong and different. Or if we are stuck in our head we aren’t even aware of the song playing on the radio or my husband calling me on the phone. These feelings only get worse when we ruminate on these thoughts and ideas. How do we stop this cycle and bring ourselves back to the moment?

We ground. Grounding is being aware of the moment you are in. Grounding is keeping you here instead of being somewhere else (i.e. your negative thought spiral or your intense worry about the future). There is hope because there are many things that we can do to bring our awareness back to the moment, we don’t need to stay away.

Grounding Techniques

We’ll start off small. One thing you can do when you start to feel like your thoughts and feelings are intense and maybe negative is to notice yourself in the room. What does it feel like when your feet are flat on the ground? Carpet and warmth, or is it hard and cold? What are you sitting on, is it comfortable or hard? Is there anything you can smell and figure out what it is? These small steps help you get in this moment. It helps you distract your mind from whatever it wants to dwell on and gets you thinking about these things.

A specific technique that is used in counseling is the 54321 technique that deals with your 5 senses. You find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch/feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This grounding technique brings you back into the present moment and distracts your mind from what was taking you away. Getting brought back to the moment is going keep your mind active on the things you want to be thinking and behaviors you want to do that are healthy and beneficial instead of ruminating in the negative, making your feelings even worse. Another grounding technique that is similar but shorter is the 333-grounding technique. Notice 3 things you can see, 3 things you can touch and take 3 deep breaths. The goals are the same.

Temperature is another great grounding tool that is used to keep yourself in the moment. When those intense feelings rise, you can reach in your freezer and grab ice. You can hold ice in your hands to simply feel the cold on your skin to bring your awareness in that moment. Another thing you can do with the ice cube, or an ice pack is put it on your face. Same goal and same outcome, just different ways. Sticking your face in ice-cold water can also help. Drastic temperature in these situations is a great tool.

One more tool we will talk about today is deep breathing. Make sure you take in deep breaths enough where your stomach rises, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale and repeat. There are many breathing techniques that Google will show you. One of them, which you can alter to fit your needs, is box breathing. For example, let’s say we do 5x5x5x5. Picture a box in your mind or draw one down on a piece of paper. Start on the left bottom corner and start going up on the side for 5 seconds, then 5 second hold across, 5 second exhale down, and 5 second hold across the bottom. It brings the awareness back to your breath and back to breathing in the present, keeping your mind on the right now.

You Have Power!  

In these moments of intense feelings, sometimes panic attacks, we have to remind ourselves that we have the power. Or we can call on our close people to help remind us. You have so much power! When these are intense, bringing yourself back to the moment is essential. It won’t be easy because you have to actively choose to bring yourself back and start distracting your mind. You have to be active in your breathing and bringing awareness to it. But I have so much faith in each of you that you are able to do this. I have so much hope. When someone comes in my office with these intense feelings, I reassure them and instill that confidence that these feelings are not a life sentence. These feelings are not even you, but they are your symptoms (they are your anxiety, they are your depression, they are your OCD – and so forth). You can do this, and you will get over these hard times and intense feelings.

Reminder to always be kind to yourself. If these grounding techniques don’t work the best the first time you try them, don’t get down on yourself. Keep trying. Keep putting effort into your mental health and bringing awareness to the present, and you will succeed and start feeling better. You got this momma! Keeping these tools in your toolbox is great so that whenever you feel these things coming on, you’ll be able to decide and choose which tool to use that will help you in the moment. I believe in you, always.

Reminder: this is not a form of therapy/counseling. If you are experiencing negative mental health symptoms, I encourage you to reach out to a local mental health professional so that you are able to get direct help.