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Learn more about our resident mental health expert and author of Mental Health Mondays, Jade Savage.

Hi Moms!

How is everyone doing? This post might look a little different because I feel called to talk about this topic, that later is a liar. I did not come up with this idea but heard it in my hot yoga class this morning. The instructor dedicated the practice to her late husband. One of the things her husband would always say was that later is a liar. And throughout the practice, I kept coming back to that idea, that notion. Where in my life have I said I would do things later, but never did them? When did I want to reach out to someone but said I would later, but never did? There are so many examples, and when we look at our mental health, I see a light bulb.

I’ll take care of my mental health later.

When I see clients come into my office, I see the power in them that got them to be in the counseling office in the first place. Instead of saying they would make the appointment later, they made it that day and set it in plan. Instead of leaning into that thought the morning of the appointment that they could cancel and reschedule to do it later, they didn’t listen and chose to come anyway.

When we tell ourselves we will do something later, we are lying to ourselves! Not always, as there are exceptions to this such as starting the dishwasher or running to the grocery store. When you look at your life, how many times have you said you will do something later but then never did? I’ll go on that date with my husband later, I just don’t feel like it right now. I’ll go have coffee with my grandma later. I’ll tell my kids I love them later when I get back home. I’ll start school later when I feel ready. I’ll start dating later. I could go on and on. It’s not always that you don’t do them later, but that it takes weeks, months, or years to actually do something.

Maybe your later is taking care of your mental health. Maybe you want to go see a counselor, but you’ll do it later because you are too busy. Wake up call – you are not too busy to take care of yourself. Maybe your counselor talked to you about implementing some new coping strategies or mindfulness skills into your daily life, but it’s too overwhelming right now and you’ll start them later (and you never do, keeping you stuck).

Where are you saying later when instead you need to take action?

What does this look like for you? Where in your life can you notice how you give yourself a pass by saying you will do it later? The reasoning why we say we will do it later might differ such as being tired, being busy, not knowing how to start, and so forth. Later is a liar, do it now. Give yourself permission to get out of your comfort zone and live wild and free. The fear, the anxious thoughts, the nervousness of doing something will hold you back and encourage you to simply do it later. Stop those thoughts. Stop them and change them to empower you to do whatever it is now! Do the things you can now! We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Thinking about this and our life span is healthy because it puts so many things into perspective. We don’t have time to do things later, we have only today, and we must pursue what is calling us. If you feel in your soul that you should be making changes so that your mental health is in a better state, or that you need to start implementing changes in your home so that your children are in a better mental health state and environment; don’t do it later. Do it now, today. Today might be planning, tomorrow might be practicing. That is okay. As long you get to the action part, as long as you actually do it.

The power of you.

There is power in you. There is extreme power in your choices. You have the power to choose how you feel, what you eat, if you move your body or not, if you speak kindly to yourself, if you speak kindly to others, if you set time aside for yourself – all of this is your choice. You choose to not do the things that you know you need to do. You choose to do it later, which isn’t going to serve you or help you.

Now there is a difference between choosing not to do things later and saying no and setting your boundaries :). These are different. One is choosing not to do something for the sake of bettering and keeping your mental health safe. Choosing to do things instead of putting them away is for that same reason, to better your mental health. When these are the goals for any action, decision, choice, that is where we want to be!

We aren’t promised a later. Make today an active choice in bettering yourself, your health, your children’s lives, your family’s dynamic, etc. Later is a liar.

Self-compassion as well as self-challenge.

Please, always be kind to yourself. When you sit through this thought, this idea that later really is a liar, you might start thinking negatively about your past choices. Don’t. Don’t give in to those thoughts. Stop the dialogue in your mind that tells you you are bad, lazy, wrong, and so forth. You aren’t any of those things. You are powerful! You are actively changing things to better your mental health and your families’ lives. You are incredible! Use that incredible power to the fullest by pushing later aside and fully pursuing what you feel called to do. See you next time!

P.S. If you need to, write down “Later is a Liar” on pieces of paper or sticky notes and put them where you will see them throughout the day. When you feel like doing something later even though deep down you know that what you are avoiding is going to make you a better person and feel happier, you remind yourself that it’s a liar and you are pursuing truth. You got this!

Reminder: this is not a form of therapy/counseling. If you are experiencing negative mental health symptoms, I encourage you to reach out to a local mental health professional so that you are able to get direct help.